Husband and I are up feeding little man and talking about how things have changed since we became parents…specifically, how we have changed. Part of me wanted to take right to Facebook and throw shade, but there’s nothing classy about that. Not that I consider myself the classiest of people, but at age 30, I respect myself a lot more.
Even as PR (Permanent Roommate = Husband) and I were trying to conceive I cleaned up my social media, simply because it was my opinion that as a mother I didn’t need to have tons of photos of me out drinking or acting senseless. When you choose to become a mother, you choose to up the respect game I believe. My husband and I used to go out, but we never had crazy girls/guys nights out; not any that involved the over consumption of alcohol. I have the utmost respect for my husband, and my behavior when I am out and about is a reflection upon him, and vice versa.
As a mother I do not want to do something unbecoming and have the criticisms of others fall down on my son. If given the option to party and throw back shots with seedy people at seedy places, or stay home and snuggle my little one…well, I will always choose snuggles. If I need to blow off steam I will not embark on activities that call for me to stow away my responsibilities and good sense for any given time.
Bear in mind, please, these are my opinions, and I am only speaking on the basis of such. PR and I are just in full agreement that our child and the respect we have for each other and our marriage will forever and always trump any happy hour and bar crawl out there. I believe in date nights, I believe in family time, I believe in building bonds to last lifetimes, not to see if I can break my keg stand record from college.
I won’t attempt to get all psychological on the matter by any means, I’m merely attempting to wrap my mind around this, that, and the other thing. I know you’re not supposed to care what other people think of you, but if someone is going to think something negative of me I do not want it to be in regards to my role as wife or mother. I’ve worked quite hard to maintain an independent quality about myself while holding down these other previous roles. I’ll drink a margarita, I’ll say fuck this or fuck that. But I’ll also always put family first. I will go to church. I will work hard. I will strive to be a tattooed American version of Kate Middleton (haha).
Perhaps this is more of a rant than I attended, but you are so often confronted by people claiming you’ve changed…what they seldom acknowledge is that the change is for the better and that they envy the level you’re on. It comes down, partially, to loving and respecting yourself and your loved ones. Never sell yourself short or feel that any moment of your past defines your present self. It took me a while to learn that, and as a new first time mama I certainly am learning something new each and everyday.
Anyone have any thoughts on being a mom-vs-just having kids??
To brighten up this little post, check out baby Jude, who will be 7 weeks tomorrow!!